Barking, raving, lunatic mad – the Really Scary Guy gets scarier.

And news this week… some (though regretfully not all) of the people who voted the Scariest Person On Your Planet into the Position of Highest Power finally began to realise that their nation is being led by a complete oaf, a buffoon, an idiot and a louse. (I shudder to think what might come to power after this One now that knowledge is out.)

Even the Other Scary Person has begun to realise that the Really Scary Person is going over the limit and has expressed, despite the Really Scary Person’s support for Israel (another Very Scary Lot) deep concern about the escalating violence being visited by Israel on Lebanon. Lebanon, note, not just Hizbollah. (This sort of illogic slays me – why go after the whole country when the people you want are just a few bad guys. Clearly, as I’ve said before, it’s much more fun to kill of loads of innocents along the way. Let’s hear it for the Lords of the Colloseum. What a bunch of clowns.)

Frankly, in the opinion of this Chicken, it is not a moment too soon that the Scary Person voices some concern about the Really Scary Person, but it is probably a good few years too late.

I’ve always wondered, haven’t you, what the Really Scary Guy has on the Scary Guy? Why would a man who seemed relatively sane (in human terms – which does make it very relative) a few years ago, suddenly take a massive plunge into surreal insanity? It can surely only be because the other guy has something on him (perhaps he caught him shagging a large Emmenthaler cheese). Which of course proves how low the Really Scary Guy is willing to go - and that’s aside from raising questions about the Scary Guy’s sexual predilections.

But sticking with the Really Scary Person. This was the week when he swore in public (and was caught on microphone), groped another nation’s leader (leaving her gasping) and managed to speak with his mouth full – of food (as well as the usual rubbish that dribbles from it). It was also the week where more and more of his countrymen seemed to question still further whether the man was mentally disturbed, drunk or on drugs.

Far be it from me to cast aspersions (would I ever) but I am delighted to see others doing it – and doing it with a vengeance. It’s long overdue.

Call me naïve but on Novapulse you have to be an intellectual superior, gracious, compassionate, empathetic, kind, firm, disciplined, a good speaker and debater, a lover of all living beings, able to compromise and negotiate for the greater good – and all that other good diplomatic stuff – in order to become a leader – of anything. Even Über-Agent the Grand High Cluck, for all his faults knows how, when the going gets tough, to be all those things. And he’s a secret agent for goodness sake.

But here on Earth it’s clear that any dolt can become a leader, good, bad, indifferent, mean, savage, stupid, megalomanic (and goodness knows, you’ve had plenty of them over the centuries). In fact, it strikes me that in order to be a leader on this strange planet of yours the more negative qualities you have, the better you are likely to fare.

No small wonder then that your planet is spluttering around the sun issuing great bursts of noxious gasses.

This is one sick planet and when it goes, the greatest worry to the rest of us is all the detritus that will get flushed into the universe. It’s a terrifying prospect – which is why we and innumerable other species are keeping a very close eye on you. Oh yes, we’re watching, make no mistake about that. Best you all stand up and start taking action, before the rest of us take action on your behalf.

And by the way, the next time you want to amuse the kids with an animal impersonation, trying saying this a few times... "bush-blaaaeh, bush-bleh, bush-blaaeh”. It’ll give them a good indication of the kind of daft creatures running this world. (Yes, that's right, children, it's a silly sheep stuck in a prickly bush.)