Oh horrors and gurus or is that horrible gurus?

As you now know, Granny Were’s Ava Suit is finished and after some initial reluctance, she’s set on parading about in it. I’ve tried to tell her that going to the supermarket looking like a glamour queen is not on but she won’t hear of it. I have to say though, she looks pretty good in it. You'd never say there was a ninety year old chicken in there, would you?

Aunt Aggie, on the other hand, in her usual dozy way forgot to pack her human suit. Thank goodness I’ve kept my spares in the cupboard so at least I can palm the lame human suit off on her. She didn’t seem to mind the look of it much, in fact, I’m not sure she even noticed. I couldn’t help wondering though, whether she wouldn’t look more becoming in one of those saffron, crimson or white robes some of your guru types wear. Aunt Aggie might look quite good in red. I wonder if we could even pass her off as a sort of Dalai Lama.

Now there’s a thought, and inspired by that movie The Guru - we could actually make a quiet fortune.

It’s staggering, you know, the stuff humans will buy into.

I came across a crowd the other day willingly getting down on their hands and knees to kiss some guy’s toes. Urgh! I ask you. And the number of people clamouring to do this was staggering. I mean they were toes, for goodness sake, who knows what they’d walked in. I’m convinced, I really am, that if I deck Aunt Aggie out in suitable kit, parcel up a pile of doggy doo, give it a magical name, “imbue” it with miraculous properties, say it came from the Great Guru Shish Kebab and put Aunt Aggie out on the web flogging the stuff that millions would kill for it. You’re not gullible, you lot, are you?

The thing is, I’ve noticed there’s a tendency among far too many folk offering a “path”, to make money out of it – in fact, to be honest, humans are willing to make a commodity out of anything. So it’s a case of “Okay, you with the roll of banknotes, step right up, here’s the doorway to heaven. No, sorry, not you, you don’t qualify, you forgot to pay last month’s subscription on soul discourses.”

What I do think is a real shame is the number of naïve little sausages (yes, that’s you, I’m being affectionate - it’s a rare thing, enjoy it and blame it on all this soul talk stuff) who actually fall for this garbage.

Oh dear, I’ve just been tapped on the shoulder by Aunt Aggie. She’s been listening in on my thoughts again while I’ve been typing. She says to tell you, “Don’t bother with anything anyone says, you just go within and listen to your own soul. All the wisdom you need in the world is right there, dear ones.”

Yes, well...

Look, don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking anyone’s spiritual beliefs here. Frankly, I think you lot need all the help you can get. And as Aunt Aggie’s always saying, the teacher comes when the student is ready - and he may even be wearing a Draconian skin. I would just suggest that a little discernment might be in order.

Hey, don’t shoot me; I’m just the messenger. And with Aunt Aggie around you might yet find wisdom on these pages.

Buk-buk-buk-ba-kaa-kaa-aa-ak!