Please do not take me to your leaders

Okay, I confess, this might just become a rant point of note. And I do ask you to bear with me. But I have to tell you, I despair. I am now firmly convinced - the so-called evolution of consciousness being spread by some good folks aside - there is very little hope for the species homo sapiens, and much less, their planet. This despite all my good intentions of social reconditioning.

Many years ago one of your esteemed literary figures, Henry James, is purported to have said in a letter to Edith Wharton, “I feel all but unbearably darkened by this crash in our civilisation.” I know how he must have felt – even if he was referring to your First World War.

What, I have to ask myself, kind of world is this? I realise Earth is in dire shape – and has been so ever since the industrial age got under way - but now it’s thoroughly confirmed. It’s true, you’re doomed.

Best all you bottom feeders out there start making mud cocktails because clearly it’s primordial ooze that is your thing.

Here’s the story:

I came across a website recently which left me in a state of high dudgeon. I confess I was inclined to rush out and shred the owner with not just one claw but both – so doing humanity a huge favour. And then I wanted to go after all those others who think he’s so totally cool so I could kick some sense into their dense craniums. I had to meditate for six hours to overcome the urge – with Aunt Aggie chanting peace mantras in the background. I have to tell you, I am gobsmacked at the kind of foul behaviour which is celebrated and promoted on your little planet.

I’m not going to tell you the name of the site owner because that would just award him further attention. I will say this though: He has his own website, his own blog and is now successfully published (by a well regarded publisher) and worse yet, sales his particular brand of misogynistic, debauched drivel are doing far better than they should. It is truly astounding.

This is, after all, a man who describes himself as follows: “I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, sleep with more women than is safe and generally behave like a raging dickhead.”

The beak-dropping thing is that young men perceive him as a cult leader and guru. Even more horrendously, there are certain young women who feel the same - they really should be subject to combined bilateral hemispherectomies and frontal lobotomies.

What staggers me is the amount of kudos this degenerate’s escapades are generating. Young men leaving comments on his site of drunken and lascivious depravity show their own startling lack of evolution.

“P is a god amongst men.”

“Toronto needs you!”

“P, you are undeniably the man. ever since i first read your stories youve been my idol. i cant beleive some of the crazy ass [%^#@] you do.you should be cloned , for all to have a P.”

“Thanks to you I'm becoming an alcoholic. I love you, like a father”

“You're one of my heroes and HUGE inspiration as well.”

And then there are young women, all too eager to get some from P:

“hey gorgeous, i love your stories... when are you gonna come back to richmond and party downtown? i know of some amazing bars with beautiful women who would LOVE to "do your laundry!"

“i was up all night reading your stories. thanks for being REAL. believe me, some women greatly appreciate your candor. take care!”

“I LOVE YOU.... we should hook Up!”

“You would be fun to party with!”

“I would so do you. So many times. In so many ways.”

One thing is clear, although P himself comes with a certain educational pedigree (makes one wonder what on earth they teach in certain institutions), most of his adoring fans are clearly fifty candles short of a birthday cake. The lights are dimmed, the wheel is on Draconian autopilot and the hamster has been genetically altered and is lying zoned out at the bottom of the cage. And this is the youth of today. Oh yes, Planet Earth, look forward to a bright future. Not.

It is exactly this sort of drivel that keeps the species homo sapiens down at the bottom of the evolutionary chain. It is exactly why I use telepathy and you use the telephone. It is why I get around by teleporting and you have to take a plane. It is why I can travel through galaxies and the furthest you’ve managed to get is the moon - and then not on a regular basis. It is why I know you’re on your way out and you think you’ve just arrived. It is why I know your species needs to be terminated and you think you’re all god.

I mean, for goodness sake, we’re talking about a man who describes himself as an idiot and a social misfit and, likes to think of himself as the highest of the Grand High Lamas of Idiocy. And his exploits are applauded, enjoyed and promoted. It’s staggering.

Mind you, I’m not sure about P being the highest of Grand High Lamas of Idiocy, I still think a certain world leader might just carry that one off – but then perhaps it is he who inspired P in the first place – aim to be like your leaders. Oh yeah. Ba-kaaaaak!