Remote controlled flying pigeons - and more...

Have you ever thought about the way a pigeon, or any other bird for that matter, flies? You know, flap wings, take off, flap some more, glide, bank, soar... that kind of thing. Has it ever struck you that these feathered flyers have absolutely no idea what they're doing or where they're going and perhaps need help? No? No, I didn't think so. They seem to do just fine all by themselves, don't they? Avian aviation seems well sorted as far as I can see - and in no need of any external assistance to go left, right, up or down. And birds seem quite content with their lot. Unlike humans they don't appear to have a need to tamper with their mechanics or have their mechanics tampered with.

But tell that to some humans - particularly those with a bout of a paranoia and a Machiavellian bent for world domination

Humans, it strikes me, are incapable of leaving well enough alone. Resultantly, scientists in China have succeeded in an experiment to remotely control the flight of a pigeon with electronic technology.

I mean, really! And, what for? Where does human interference in all things natural stop? Why is it necessary to implant electrodes into the brains of some poor innocent pigeons, who mind their business by pecking at seed, shagging, preening, laying eggs, raising their young and shitting all over statues. Why, I have to ask, would anyone conceivably want to be able to direct a pigeon to go left or right? I mean what's the bloody point?

Of course, not to be outdone, scientists in the US have been conducting similar experiments - their aim - military advantage. (Why am I so not surprised.) Yep, not content with just blowing their foes to bits, this lot want to drag animals into their nefarious activities. To this end, the Pentagon have been trying to create remotely controlled shark spies. Flipper the Dolphin was evidently too sappy an experiment for these gung ho fellows. Jaws was a far more attractive option. See, the dream is that Jaws & Co will become stealth spies. I wonder if anyone mentioned to these geniuses that sharks, particularly Great Whites, are quite partial to human flesh?

"The Pentagon hopes to exploit sharks' natural ability to glide quietly through the water, sense delicate electrical gradients and follow chemical trails," says a report, carried in New Scientist.

I don't know why but the phrase biting the hand that feeds you keeps coming to mind...

You'd have thought, of course, that these lunatics would have learned from their previous failed attempt at using animals for military purposes - when they tried to use cats in spy missions.
Having spent millions of dollars on research, the "acoustic kitty" - with battery and microphone on board and an antenna in it's tail - pranced out into the road and was promptly squashed by a passing taxi. Sod's law, some might say. But I'd have to disagree. Mother Nature looks after her own.

Now, while humanity fiddles some more with the animal kingdom for their own heinous purposes, I think I'll just settle back to watch it all go horribly wrong.

Ba-kaaaaaak!