Birthday Reflections on the Fuckwittage of Humanity - and Over and Out

Well oiled on "tasmanian devil juice", I've been watching planet Earth from afar - and muttering - a lot. Not only were the doings of humanity the result of my beloved Aunt Aggie's demise, but you horrible lot have had me flat on my back for far too long. Human Allergic Condition. I ask you. What a horrible thing. You should be ashamed of yourselves. No wonder the Andromedans can't afford to send envoys here. Given their heightened levels of sensitivity and empathy, they'd take one sniff of Earth's air, keel over and evaporate into the cosmic energy. And we can't have that now, can we. (It's a rhetorical question, no need to answer it.)

But here I sit, in a sanctuary in Novapulse, keeping my beady on you - and on Chicken Man, who, it must be said, in the face of the most unbelievable human doings and screwings is performing a pretty sterling job of trying to not only save the trees, but preserve the recreational space of thousands of the Mugger City's people, particularly those who've previously had to do without. But we won't get into the politics of the thing - because, by the Corncob, then you really do see human fuckwittage on a tremendous scale.

But it's time for me to sit back and reflect ("tasmanian devil juice" notwithstanding) on the human condition. See, it's my birthday tomorrow... "Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me...tra la laa..." and birthdays in Novapulse are always a time of consideration and contemplation. And, since my last year has mostly been spent on Earth, it is not surprising that it is Earth and my relationship to it and its beings (and, erm, doings) that I find myself pondering. And the thing that hits me squarely in the beak everytime is well, fuckwittage.

What can I say, in a galaxy full of all sorts of beings, humanity does stand out as the grand high lama of right plonkerdom. As Aunt Aggie so often used to say, the trouble with humanity is ego. Me. Me. Me. There is, amongst the far wider population, simply no sense of the bigger picture, no realisation that actually, your little lives are all but an illusion, a dream created by the mind, driven by ego. If I consider the things I have seen Chicken Man deal with over the past few weeks, I am beaksmacked at the myopia of the human condition - and the viciousness. Everyone has a personal agenda. Everyone wants recognition. The greater good is a concept grasped only by a very few who struggle to swim against the surging, clamouring tide of Me's. Everyone is worried about profit, image, fame, power. Aside from Me Me Me, it's also all Gimme, Gimme, Gimme. You just have to look at the state of the world to grasp that. Yes, dear, please do take off your rose-tinted spectacles, it's really not that rosie from where I'm sitting.

There is very little sense amongst humans of the interconnectedness of all life. Some do seem to grasp it, but they are few and far between. But bless them, they do try. They do pray for the enlightenment of the rest, but the rest have their noses so far up their own tails that they're really not able to smell the roses - only that other stuff - which, really, doesn't smell too good at all - but they seem to like it. (Nothing like getting high on the smell of your of your own shite, right?) But no, the simple reality is this, most humans, bound up in ego, see only as far as the ends of their own noses and forget that there is a big picture, fail to realise that they are in fact a part of the cosmic energy which is everything and everywhere - that they are it and it is they. No, instead they see themselves as lone islands or at most, archipelagoes - but never do they see themselves as a unified entity - and unified not just to each other and the rest of the beings on the planet but to the rest of us in the entire multiverse - warts and all. And as long as humanity and individual humans fail to grasp the interconnectedness of all life, not just on earth but Everywhere, and as long as they fail to recognise that they are souls and, as such, pure cosmic energy and that this short duration that they spend on earth, is well, like a bad holiday at Butlins well, human fuckwittage will prevail. And frankly, I just can't be doing with it anymore. There is just that much that this Chicken can take.

Besides, as some of you have been kind enough to point out to me, you don't like being constantly lectured to by an alien Chicken who thinks she knows better. The fact that I am in the position to take the objective view seems to be offensive to some... Tsk and Tchah, to you, my dear. But I'll grant you this, blathering on about the failings of humanity, wittering away about the inanity of the human condition and ranting and snarking on about the fuckwittage of people is, quite frankly, getting boring. And us Chickens do so hate to be bored.

And so it is, given these reflections, given that I'm about to be another year older, given my bout of Human Allergic Condition and after lengthy discussions with High Command, it has been decided that Novapulse will leave Earth to its fate. I have gathered in my time on Earth a substantial dossier of information which will be compiled into a report for the Allied Federation of Intergalactic Associations - with recommendations. Chicken Man, bless him, has decided he's also had enough of his own species and is going to join me on Novapulse. And yes, dear readers, that means it's over and out from me, Atyllah the Hen, Chicken with Attitude. I will not be returning to Earth and I will not be warbling on about the human condition anymore. But if you think, for just one minute, that I won't still be watching, you'll be sorely mistaken. So be afraid, be very afraid, because the entire multiverse has its eye on you. Best you be good! And do try to stop beating each other up and just play nicely. Do it for Aunt Aggie if not for yourselves.

It's been fun, but now it's done.

Peace, harmony, happiness, love, good health, joy, laughter, tranquility and, above all, enlightenment to you all.

Over and out
Atyllah the Hen

Ba-kaaaaaaak!